I meant to rant about this in my last entry but forgot. So here goes . . .

Okay, I don't care what sort of so-called "shocking" tactics Madonna employs in order to gain attention -- she can make out with Brittany Spears, she can hump a goat, she can even crucify herself, makes no difference to me. But the latter, I must say, is the most desperate and desperately cliche bit of "performance" the hanger-on has yet to exploit. Um, "crucifying yourself"? Whoa! Madonna! You're so innovative! I mean, in spite of the fact that artists long ago did things like this and this. (The later is one of the more questionable student works in my alma mater's history.)

Or maybe your cleverness lies in its lack of new-ness. Maybe I should start wearing Doc Martens and flannel shirts again and listening to Nirvana all the time in an attempt to try and alarm my parents the same way it alarmed them in 1993 . . . hmm. Madonna, you might be on to something -- but you're not clever enough to figure it out.

Frankly, my dear, you're embarassing yourself . . . and those of us who in the 1980s begged our Catholic parents to let us listen to your then "scandalous" albums.

Your crucifixion thing is no more than a bit of opaque, adolecent "sadness poetry." Time to grow up, sweetie.

Why don't you devote yourself to your career as a rap artist -- wait, no. Um, how about Kaballah? Practicing your British accent? Writing children's books? You could make out with Lindsay Lohan (I hear she's a budding musician). Or you could . . . um, wait . . . remind me again, why are you famous?